3.30.2003

Donde Esta?

Either my comments and my shoutbox are malfunctioning, or my readers were deterred by my break in posting. D'oh.

Posted by Deir at 02:54 | |

3.29.2003

fondlepig (fndl pg).

1. A member of the genus Homo and especially of the species H. sapiens
2. A person regarded as being promiscuous, sexual, and/or desirable to the male species.
3. A favored female companion or sweetheart.
4. Having or showing some or all of the following traits
-delicate hair
-attractive eyes
-voluptuous mamma
-smooth, round buttocks
-shaven groin

I posted this for the benefit of the people that have not been to www.fondlepig.com. But go there, for sure. And by the way fondlepig.com, if you have any objections to this post, let me know.

Posted by Deir at 02:22 | |

3.28.2003

Mia's First Post.

eewj ,AAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaMJU8./ J/;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;099OYYYK,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, GMMMMMMMMMMMMMMKI

Posted by Deir at 17:37 | |

Ain't that a bitch?

You know what, I DO have something to post about. There's this girl I'm friends with. She called me on Wednesday bitching about her usual drama and I asked her if she wanted to hang out (to watch Episode one of the new Bachelor season). She said okay and not 1 minute after we got off the phone, she called and said she had a headache and we should just plan on doing something the following day (yesterday). So I called her yesterday morning, and she tells me to be at her house around noon. I was running a little late so I CALLED her (because that's the considerate thing to do) and she said it wasn't a problem and to just come over with Mia around 130 so her little one would be up from her nap and they could play. So I got there on time and she wasn't home. Her car was gone, her house phone was off the hook, her patio door was wide open, her TV was on...and she wasn't answering her cell phone. AND she never called, not to say she was leaving and not to say what happened. If this was any of my other friends, I would be worried, but this isn't the first time this has happened. So, I'm more annoyed than anything. Who MAKES plans if they're not really planning on being there. I can see someone getting stood up on a date (not me), but do friends stand each other up at their own homes?? That's just weird to me.

Duh, Um.

I haven't really been posting anything of much substance, in case you all haven't noticed. The fact is, I really don't have much to say lately. A bunch of my friends came out about a week ago...we had fun. See [drunkadelic] for the group photo [not a work friendly site]. I went out with Elizabeth [see Alexus [also not work friendly]] and a bunch of other friends on Tuesday to celebrate her 21st birthday. We had more fun. Tonight I'm throwing together a group of people and we're heading to the oceanfront. If you know me, and you want to throw down, call my cell phone.


Happy Birthday Shelley and Jenny. Both 22 today, right?



a cabbage patch kid


What Toy From The 80s Are You
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3.27.2003

(Un)intentionallySubliminal.

I've changed my AIM screenname, folks. OhranjShorts. Add it to your buddy lists, take off hurley0681. For a quick link to IM me, see the link in the upper right corner of the site (AIM).

Dance a little jig.

I will jump up and down on the Verizon Yellow Pages to kill a spider.

Second Generation "Blueberry."



Someone print this out and give it to Uncle Dan for me please.

3.21.2003

Operation Shoebox.

I got an e-mail from a good friend today. The link didn't work, but I google searched and what she had sent me would have taken me to www.OperationShoebox.com. The site's purpose is an excellent way to support our troops. All that's asked is for civilians to fill up a shoebox with some of the items listed and send the box to either a soldier you know or to Operation Shoebox for them to send. I think it's an excellent idea, and I ALWAYS have shoeboxes around!! I encourage everyone to participate.

3.20.2003

Public Service Announcement.

In case MTV didn't already know, I would like to remind them that MTV stands for MUSIC Television. The reason we have MTV is because we subscribe to cable. So along with MTV, we get FOX News Network, we get CNN, we get the professional news reports. I don't like going to channel 22 expecting to see girls being bitchy on Sorority Life, and seeing Gideon Yago and John Norris reporting what they just saw on a real news network. Just stick to your lineup guys.

P.S. When you send pretty (pretty old to be a VJ) boy Carson Daly to report from the front lines, I might give you half the credit you still wouldn't deserve.

3.19.2003

Sweet Land of Liberty, of Thee I Sing.

My heart goes out to the troops and the parents of the soldiers on domestic land and abroad. God Bless America.

Dude, are you babysitting tonight??

No, DUDE. I'm not babysitting, I don't get paid by the hour, I am a Mom. It's crazy questions like these that make me wonder where the hell my friends have been for the 6 months that I've had Mia living with me "on the outside." Those nights that I don't go out, or that I can't go out, it's not because I promised Mia's mom I would watch her, it's because I AM Mia's mom. You crazy idiots. When I tell you my mom works Monday-Friday and can't watch Mia Sunday-Thursday nights, I'm not babysitting my own child, I'm being a responsible parent by taking care of her. Sure, if I were a Navy mom, I might be inclined to leave her in her crib by herself or leave her in the car while I go out, but I'm not enlisted. Sorry folks. I don't mean to take the credit away from the military moms that make parenthood work; but if you're a HR citizen you'll know what I'm saying. Bottom line is this: I'm available to go out Friday and Saturday nights, but not BOTH nights each weekend and not even ONE night each weekend. Call me in advance, and I'll pencil you in.

3.17.2003

All the world is a stage.

It's funny to me how many people I know that claim to hate drama. As the words come out of their mouths, I am forced to recall the proverbial thin line between love and hate. The people that claim to hate drama so much are also the people with the most drama I've ever had the (dis)pleasure of listening to. I don't mind lending an ear and helping a good friend once in awhile, but one would think that my friends would learn from their mistakes and stop going through the same production over and over again.

In the past, most of my friends would be able to refute this claim and say I, myself, am a drama-princess. Since Mia's dad has left the area, though he's only an hour away, I don't deal with drama on a day to day basis. And if MY drama gets to be too much for me to handle, I have my lawyer on speed dial.

I don't have an anecdote to trail my point; this post is really just a culmination of bad stories that are rerun every week. So friends, I beseech you all, if you have drama, and you call me, make sure it's the pilot of a new show. I see all the reruns I can take on Nick at Nite.

3.16.2003

And speaking of dating single mom's...

I've had what will most likely not be a unique experience this past week. I had a date a week ago this past Friday. It went well and I was SURE I had previously told the guy about Mia. She didn't come up during the date, so I wasn't sure he remembered. He had wanted me to call him when I got home, so I did and he asked if I wanted to see him again sometime soon, I say yes, though I'd have to ask my mom to babysit. He said okay...the call ended. I talked to him again a few days later and we made plans to make plans for the weekend. Somewhere in that same conversation, he asked what I do all day since I only work weekends. I explained that I'm home with Mia, my daughter. He said he, in fact, DID NOT recall hearing about her (selective hearing on his part is the only logical explanation for that). He continued to suggest we do something Sunday and said he would call later this week. Right. He did not call.

It would have been one thing if he just never called after the first date. It would have another thing if the date didn't go well. And it would have been still ANOTHER thing if he found out about Mia and then TOLD me he was no longer interested. I would have understood. Not every guy in his early 20's is going to want to get into a relationship with a mom. The fact is that none of those things happened. So, to add to the Guide to Dating a Single Mom...it takes a certain amount of...how to put this...it takes balls, gentleman.

Rated XXX.

Just a heads up for those of you that check out the links I list on the right. The StripTzzers link is a booking site for a stripping agency down here. It's not anything I'M into, but Alexus is a close friend and I'm trying do give her some publicity. She's a good girl and I've seen her dance (clothed)...she can work it.


My Mia is 6 months old today and is pulling herself into a standing position. No crawling...

3.15.2003


Mom is going nuts thinking something is burning, but I just made a Lean Cuisine...maybe that's it.

3.14.2003


I was just looking at my site, as I do often late at night (probably WAY too much), and I was looking at the comments that people have left. Mike commented on the link I posted to SharpMan's Guide to Dating a Single Mom.

The guide is for men. Every single mom's situation is different. In dating a single mom, understanding is key: Understand that my family comes first. My child is my family, and unless we're married, you're not. Understand that her father is mine to deal with. Understand that I'm her parent, not you. Understand that you don't need to meet her anytime soon. Understand that I need to fall in love with you before my child does. Understand that I want my heart broken, not hers.

That's about all I can come up with at this time...I'm sure I'll be able to add to the list after I experience a little more of the "single parent dating scene." I'm sure more than a few of those points are similar to SharpMan's...but after all, I like to consider myself a pretty sharp woman.

3.13.2003


I just watched One Hour Photo starring Robin Williams. I've had the DVD for quite some time now, but Mia can't be around to watch/hear it, so I had to watch it while she was asleep...and it says it's really scary on the packaging...so I didn't want to watch it alone. BUT ALAS, I've watched it ALONE, and it was a really great movie. There was one part where I jumped out of my chair, but it really wasn't THAT scary.











3.12.2003


I am an ESFJ.

As an ESFJ, you are Extraverted, Sensing, Feeling, and Judging.
This makes your primary focus on Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Sensing.

This is defined as a SJ personality, which is part of Carl Jung's Guardian (Security Seeking) type, and more specifically the Provider or Caregiver.

As a weblogger, your spirit of making others feel good will make people reciprocate and you will feel loved. Because you have a detail oriented spirit, you will be more likely to post frequently. You appreciate validation - espcially when someone agrees with you on something you say. Because of your sensativity, you must be careful not to be hurt when other webloggers are having contraversies - you want everyone to be happy.

Find out who you are at Bloginality.


ELIZABETH SMART FOUND ALIVE!!!

That's the best headline I've ever read.

3.11.2003


Dear Miss Manners: Someone I know takes the liberty of writing "2" on a wedding invitation response, even when the invitation didn't say "and guest." I wouldn't do that myself, but attending alone has often made for a restless, short evening. I have wished that the hosts would introduce me to other singles or to a couple willing to include me in their group for the evening. But I know that making sure everyone has company would be just one more burden in an already overwhelming day. The obvious answer of never sending an invitation without extending it to "and guest" sometimes just isn't in the budget.

Gentle Reader: You won't believe this, but way back before the invention of that horridly anonymous "and guest"; even back before the invention of the horrid response card, single people (this was even before the concept of "singles") used to adore going to weddings alone. The reason they had such a good time was that they were all dressed up, looking their best, filled with champagne and set loose among a crowd of other eligible people -- her friends, his friends, her relatives, his relatives -- with whom they were expected to socialize. Bringing a date would curtail all that socially acceptable flirtation. Miss Manners is not as quick as you to excuse hosts who neglect their hostly duties on the grounds that they are busy getting married. They should at least delegate someone to make sure no one is stranded. But guests also have duties -- starting with not introducing freeloading strangers into the situation, but also including socializing with the other guests. If you were to go around introducing yourself to other reception guests who appeared stranded, you might have a better time.

It's not my wedding. But it's me that gets the phone calls. Get it right, people.


Another day late and another Monday Mission short. I kinda like This-or-That Tuesdays though. Short questions, not much thinking involved, all that's required on my part is a little bit of wit. So here goes:

1. Married or single? As single as it gets...
3. Homebody or world traveller? Home is where the heart is...and my bed :)
4. "Star Search" or "American Idol"? Star Search...they've got the comedy, the music, and the models.
5. Dancing or karaoke? I prefer to dance, but karaoke's fun to watch!!
6. Elvis Presley or Elvis Costello? Presley.
7. Bus or train? Plane.
8. Batman or Superman? George Clooney.
9. Chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla.
10. Which came first...the chicken or the egg? You know, who cares?

3.10.2003


The SharpMan's Guide to Dating a Single Mom.


Go to Mystic Tan's site and find a location near you. I went in to Sunday's Tanning Resort today and got one of those spray-on tans. Except for the paler spot on my arm where Mia's drool was wiped away, I'm evenly bronzed. It looks really good!! No orange or anything!! WOOHOO!!

3.09.2003


Hooting at the Moon. I worked on Thursday following that Hooter's Veteran, and tonight they let me loose on the floor. I couldn't go that nuts though considering my THREE table section. I understand that though...they just weren't sure I could hold my own on the floor AND manage my tables. It's ALL good. I came away making roughly 20% of my sales in tips (after I tipped out). I had enough hefty tippers to make up for the not so hefty tippers. [edit]

3.06.2003


Although I am a guilty party, I thought I'd post this up for my big Seester: I would also like to take this time to point out that I am need of MANY R.S.V.P.'s You know who you are and you need to send it to me. Please don't make me call you to see if you are going to come or not. Many of the cousins under the age of 24 have yet to reply. Hint Hint. =)


My clarification for y'all just in case the cousins under 24 don't know who they are...I'm GUESSING under 24 means Tony (who isn't really under 24) and Little Danny (do we still call you "Little Danny"??), um, the younger Bardwells...maybe Officer Cousin and youarempb...uh, me too. So. I'm all over it. Y'all should be, too.

**That is not what Meghan's RSVP's look like.


What would you say if you went to Hooters (think hypothetically, Cordle :)), and you asked your waitress how long she'd been with the company, and she said "eleven years" without batting and eye?

3.05.2003


3.04.2003


I missed the MM yesterday, so today I am going to participate in This-or-That Tuesday.

1. Soup or salad? Soup
2. Hot or cold sandwiches? Hot...especially from Schlotzsky's!!
3. White or whole wheat bread (or rye, etc)? Sourdough, no doubt.
4. Pack a lunch for work/school, or buy it? Pack a lunch
5. If you eat out...fast-food chain, or mom & pop type place? Fast food. It's the obese American child in me.
6. Tuna or chicken salad? Chicken salad.
7. Cheese: Swiss or cheddar (or American, etc)? Colby
8. Mustard or mayo? Mustard
9. Sandwiches: wrap/pita pocket, or regular bread/roll? Pita pocket!!
10. Sweet stuff: cookie/cake or fresh fruit? Banana Split Cake...the best of both worlds.

3.03.2003


MIA Enterprises is in full effect. I urge you to check out the Quixtar website as a guest to see what we have. Go to Quixtar.com and click Visitor View: United States at the top left. Go to the "shop" drop down menu and take a look at what's in there. When you're finished looking at that stuff, I'd go to the Partner Stores selection under the "shop" menu. From there go to the A to Z listing and look at the discounts we get on stuff.

Today I bought Mia some toys from FisherPrice.com, I bought a SafetyFirst jogging stroller, biodegradable diapers, XS energy drink (NO SUGAR!! The energy comes from Vitamin B's!! And ONLY 8 calories!!), and Chocolate Coconut meal replacement bars that taste like Haystacks.

To become a member, the first year is $20. Each year after that, it's only $10. Members receive preferred pricing and access to special promotions and member benefits.

Becoming a client is free. But the only thing clients get out of the deal is access to the site. No discounts. Sorry Charlies.

If anyone is interested in becoming a client or a member, e-mail me or IM me and I can sponsor you into the site. I can also answer any questions you might have.

Maybe some of you out there would like to become an IBO and establish a 3-5 year retirement plan like me. Or maybe trading time for money works for you. Contact me.

3.02.2003


Stanley from Yellow Cab brought me home last night...er, this morning. I had a good time. So did Erin. We have so much fun together, it's really ridiculous. You know, way back when we were seeing Shawn at pretty much the same time, our friends would tell us we looked alike and we acted alike...and they're sorta right. We definitely act alike and last night some guys asked us if we were sisters and said we looked a lot alike. Anyway, I'm home safe and mom and Mia and I are going to pick up my car in a little while.

3.01.2003


3.5 hours at the mall. I came away with a pair of shoes for work...HOOTERS on THURSDAY. I love my job. Uhh...I got socks, because I had to try my shoes on and I was wearing sandals, DUH ME. I got J. Lo jeans and a J. Lo top that I will be wearing out this evening. It took me at least 2 hours to find the perfect pair of jeans and wouldn't you know? J Lo. jeans...and they were the last pair I tried on. We were actually on our way to the exit when we saw them. Mia made out like bandit AS USUAL. I got her the cutest outfit from Gymboree for this summer. It's a little pink top with little flowered bloomers (WITH RUFFLES) and a little flowered sunhat. HOW CUTE!! Mom got her some shirts also. We also picked up some stuff for Meghan's wedding....she'll be excited about that. Anyway, Erin and I are going out tonight and the pictures show what I'll be wearing...although the shirt I got is white.